Forwarded Messages

2011-06-03T00:42:00.001-07:00

Speech by Bryan Dyson (CEO of Coca Cola)

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them-Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you're keeping all of these in the Air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball.

If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.

2011-06-03T00:24:00.000-07:00

CID crime scene -

LADY : Rahul mera bhai tha!
DAYA : kya!? Rahul tumhara bhai tha!?
LADY : Ha...Rahul mera bhai tha.
ACP : Rahul sach mein tumhara bhai tha ?
LADY : ha sir...wo mera hi bhai tha..
ABHIJEET : oh my god! iska matlab..
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Tum Rahul ki behen ho?

Rajnikant-----

2011-06-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

When Rajnikant was studying in 3rd std....some1 stole his rough note....&
Now they call it as .............Wikipedia

Crazy people!!!! ;)

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When Rajnikant was a Student…!!!

Teachers use to Bunk the classes!!!

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Rajnikant started college. All student were confused while taking admission because name of college is
“Rajnikant’s Medical College of Engineering for Commerce”.

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Rajnikant purchased a road roller…

Guess why??????

To Iron his Clothes……………………………

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Rajnikant was shot today..
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Funeral of the bullet is tomorrow…:D

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Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant’s statue…

..And Birds returned grains they took last year as well

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If Rajni works in BPO, clients would work in shifts! :D

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Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"

He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"

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One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….

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Tonight at 9 Rajani can be seen in the sky… as he is participating in the Asian Games’ high jump event…

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What do you think Vodafone 3G tag line should be :-
Faster ..
Better…
RAJNIKANT….

No it should be (strictly)

RAJNIKANT.
RAJNIKANT..
RAJNIKANT…

Mind it
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Rajnikanth's next project is the Titanic in Tamil. However, Rajni has twisted the climax. Both the lead actors survive. Rajni swims
across the Atlantic Ocean with the heroine in one hand and... the Titanic in the other

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“Rajnikanth doesn’t breathe…air comes to hide in his lungs”

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“Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012…..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty”…..:P
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Rajni can walk faster than light….

“Rajni cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another”.

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Law of Conservation of Rajni

All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!
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Once a photo of Rajnikant was given for Xerox. Don’t even try to guess what happened…
We got two copies of the Xerox machine.

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One more:

Once upon a time
Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth

Today that powder is known as

“AMBUJA CEMENT”

Health Tips

2008-10-14T04:20:00.001-07:00

Health - Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear
Do not drink coffee TWICE a day
Do not take pills with COOL water
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm
Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume
Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night
Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS
Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time
Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping
When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times

Forward this to those whom you CARE about

Best wishes for a Good Health.

Excellent

2008-10-14T04:18:00.001-07:00

Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT
company.

During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our

team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company

canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very

hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers

has

disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The

cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the

boss

has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of

you

idiots ate the developer?"

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader

Of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team

leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed

anything,

and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please

don't eat a person who is working."

Relatives IN and OUTSIDE India

2008-10-14T04:15:00.000-07:00

Relation	In India	Outside India
Mother-in-law	A woman capable of making your life miserable.	A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free ?
Husband	A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings.	Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.
Friend	A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.	A person whom you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.
Wife	A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take a shower.	A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.
Son	A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.	A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.
Daughter	A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes during her marriage.	A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before her marriage.
Father	A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed .	A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition.
Indian Engineer	A person with a respectable job and earning lots.	A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.
Doctor	A respectable person with OK income.	A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called 'doctor's wife'.
Bhangra	A vigorous Punjabi festival dance.	A dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.
Software Engineer	A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue in the consulate visa line.	The same hi-tech guy, who does Ganapati Puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or whenever)'every year.
A Green Card holder bachelor	the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there.	the guy can't speak proper English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan , dreams of owning a BMW

Anger and Love

2008-09-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father....

With painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'

Man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions...... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, child had written 'I LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the later to have a beautiful & lovely life....

Things are to be used and people are to be loved, But the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved .......

Credit card fraud

2008-09-24T04:56:00.001-07:00

Please find the details as follows.
On 21^st September 2008, near about 1.15PM to 1.30PM, I went to Shri Seva Petrol pump. I filled around 12 liters of petrol. I have used my ICICI Debit card to make the payment. This debit card has Red colour and does not have any personal information like Name and Photo of the customer. It contains only card number.
When my turn came, there were two guys who assisted me to fill the petrol. When it was done, I took my bike aside and went to the guy who was having my Debit Card. I signed on the acknowledgement slip and handed over the slip to him. Since I was in hurry, I did not notice the card which he returned to me. This card which was given to me was similar to my card, so assuming that I got my card back, I left the place.
In the evening, I was shocked when I got an sms on my cell from ICICI bank informing me that one transaction was made of Rs.4000/- and this amount was debited from my savings account. Soon after I called the customer care and asked them to block my Debit card. By the time, it was very clear that somebody was misusing my card and was doing the transactions.
I went to ICICI Bank, SB Road Branch to know more details about this and about the customer whose card was returned to me by that petrol pump assistant. I met the guy who was belonging to that card. When I discussed with him, I got to know that the same incident has happened with him also. He was given somebody else’s card and a transaction of Rs 1500/- was made from his own Debit card.
From these incidents, it seems that someone or a group of people are deliberately replacing the debit cards and are misusing the same at the same shop. This has happened twice in last 5 days. There can be more victims which may have cheated the same way at this petrol pump.
So if you are giving your card (Debit/Credit) to any one for swiping, please confirm if you have got your own card or not.
Also please do not fill petrol at this petrol pump so that such kind of incidents will not happen forever.
Please forward this information to your friends so that they will also know the fact.

Sardarji

2008-09-24T00:19:00.000-07:00

Jokes :

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha

Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem hai
DR: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"

Sardar: Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya.
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

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How to identify a Software engineer?

2008-09-23T03:39:00.001-07:00

How to identify a Software engineer?

1. He/She never bargains... No wonder things have become so costly!

2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are

sleeping like they haven't slept for years...

3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon...

4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile,

delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what

'foreign land' is called] are the ones that would be used by

'default'...

5. Weekends are holy words... they are like a salvation one seeks for...

6. "Wazzzup", "Hows life?", are few obvious questions one will be

greeted with which would be immediately followed by "how's work?"

7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other

companies than the one he/she is currently in...

8. They don't send or take things... they always forward them!

9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in

the entire day...

10. They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do... When

I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes

to my mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room".

11. Mondays are always blue...

12. All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that

something would never be what they are doing right now...

Keep the change

2008-09-23T02:56:00.000-07:00

Delhi...ultimate must read

2008-09-23T02:51:00.001-07:00

Increase My Salary

2008-09-05T22:32:00.000-07:00

Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside thecompany..!

Only Boy

2008-09-05T22:31:00.001-07:00

Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says
"To the only boy Iever loved.!"
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!

Happy Ganesh Chaturti

2008-09-05T22:26:00.001-07:00

Har IT ki kahani,,,

2008-08-25T01:13:00.000-07:00

Bench pe Bench,
Bench pe Bench,
Log paglon ki tarah training mein raat raat bhar padhte rahe
Aur unhe mili toh sirf Bench !

Algorithm ka Analysis karte karte unki khudki life ban gayi ek unsolvable algorithm
Aur unhe mili toh sirf Bench !
Training ke baad proj milega,
phir appraisal hoga,
phir onsite jaoonga ..
Isi soch mein logon ne training clear kar di
Aur unhe bhi mili toh sirf Bench !
Bench par baithe baithe log khud ban gaye hai ek bench,
Phir bhi unhe mili toh sirf Bench !
Chaddha samjao ise....
Coding karne ke liye jo jigar chahiye hota hai ..
wo kisi bazaar mein nahi milta...
Coder use lekar paida hota hai....
Aur jab yeh Java ka code kisi Dotnet wale ko karna pad jata hai na,
Toh coder uthta nahi,
balki is duniya se ..
uth jaata hai............
Bazaar main aise code bahot milte hain,
lekin unko chalane k liye jo seena chahiye hota hai..
Wo ek coder lekar paida hota hai ..!

Jokee.. hahahah

2008-08-25T01:07:00.000-07:00

Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha
Jailor: Kyon has rhe ho? Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hu

Joke...

2008-08-25T01:06:00.001-07:00

DAD:U HAVE TO SCORE 90 % MARKS...

SON : DONT WORRY DAD,I WILL GET 100 % MARKS.

DAD:MAZAK KYU KARA RAHA HAI BETA.?

SON:SHURU KISNE KIYA THA?

Something Interesting

2008-08-10T23:00:00.000-07:00

Kindly Calculate,

(13837) X (Your Age) X (73) = ?????

'STOP' Please

2008-08-08T01:35:00.001-07:00

He is painting the Swimming Pool

2008-08-08T01:34:00.001-07:00

Check the Ambulance , you will die before u reach the hospital

2008-08-08T01:32:00.001-07:00

New Toyota Cowrolla

2008-08-08T01:29:00.000-07:00

Who needs a expensive Ipod

2008-08-08T01:28:00.001-07:00

India Pakistan Partition Pics

2008-08-05T03:44:00.000-07:00

Never listen with a predetermined notion...

2008-06-24T03:14:00.002-07:00

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"

The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"

Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four…"

The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"

Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"

The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?"

Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"

The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.

In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."

"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."

Marathi Pjs

2008-06-24T03:14:00.001-07:00

Anupam Kher la varshachya shevti Mulgi zhali tar tiche kai naav asel bara?? Varsha A.Kher !!!
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Ekda ek maanus lagnala aalyacha tukda (ginger) gheun jaato. Ka?? Karan lagnachya patrikevar lihilela asta .. Lagnala "aala"ch paahije =))
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Ekda ek manus asa announce karto ki tyacha kutra Tommy la poorna English kalta. Challenge mhanun dusra manus yeto ani Tommy la biscuit dakhvun mhanto "Tommy .. take". Tar Tommy jaaun bhintila tekto
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Ek manus doodh pita pita marto...kase kay? Mhais Khali baste
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Manus eka tapriwar jaato aani samosaa magto.. Samosa aalyawar to fakta aatalaa masaalaCh khato Taperiwalaa mhanto arey kyo sirf masalaa hi khayaa?? manus mhanto "arey doctor ne bahaar ka khane ke liye mana kiya hain!!!!!!!"
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eka jatret eka stall madhe ek manus ordat asto , ek rupayet dudhi halva. loka paise devun aat jatat , tikde ek duhi latkavli aste . loka vichar taat kuthe ahe dudi halva samor che dudhi tumhi halva ani nigha.
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manus at an interview: Question: What is Ford? manus: Gaadi!!! Question: Good,what is Oxford? manus: Bailgaadi
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vaTpournimechyaa divshii vaDaachyaa zaaDaachii poojaa kelyaanantar baaykaa kaay mhaNtaat? vaDaa paav ...

kids...very special ones

2008-06-23T02:15:00.000-07:00

Worlds most expensive saree

2008-06-20T03:20:00.000-07:00

Silk Sari

How often have you come across a Rs. 40 lakh ($100,000)

silk saree?

Chennai Silks, a textile unit has come up with one
of its kind and it is seeking an unmistakable entry into the Guinness Book of World Records for being the most unique and expensive saree.

The exceptionally stunning saree is meticulously woven with 12 precious stones and metals to depict 11 of Raja Ravi Verma's popular paintings. Explicitly projected is

'Lady Musicians', one of the painter's very famous works that displays women belonging to diverse cultural backgrounds.

Besides, the border of the saree pictures 10 other paintings of the artist that pays tribute to 20th century artist.
The best part of the saree being that the women in the paintings are intricately hand-woven and beautified with jewels of gold, diamond, platinum, silver, ruby, emerald, yellow sapphire, sapphire, cat's eye, topaz, pearl and corals.

Already in the Limca Book of Records, this 40 lakh saree will be the first silk saree that required the use of 7,440 jacquard hooks and 66,794 cards during the weaving process. Moreover, a group of consummate workers took nearly 4,680 hours

Joke of the day

2008-06-20T02:42:00.000-07:00

कर्वे रोडला पाणी येते, पण कोथरुड ला नाही येत. का बरे ?

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कारण वाटेत नळ स्टॉप आहे.

Please appreciate "HER"

2008-06-20T01:43:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow you may propose a working woman,

but you should marry with these facts firmly grounded in your mind........

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she isas
human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that
gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who
love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family
name,

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment
and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that
you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than
you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at
her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing
to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy,
unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like
yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows
in your entire house - Your unstinted support, Your sensitivities and most importantly - Your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

chintoo

2008-06-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

21st century bride !!

2008-06-16T21:29:00.001-07:00

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

"My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family",

she said "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn't stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!

********

This is called bride from 21st Century!!!!

~~~~~~~~

Good Morning

2008-06-13T04:54:00.000-07:00

Good morning....

Have a nice day !!!!

Success of life will create crowd for u

Lonliness of life create empty space for u

but TOUGH TIME in life will create the trueg person in u...!!

A car that runs on air, in India soon

2008-06-13T04:53:00.000-07:00

http://in.rediff.com/money/2007/mar/21car.htm

Management:Unofficial Mail

2008-06-13T04:51:00.000-07:00

Management Lesson........................ The ULTIMATE

PJ

2008-06-13T04:49:00.000-07:00

एक साप, कोंबडी, मांजर आणि शंभर पायांची गोम हे मित्र एकदा पत्ते खेळत बसले होते.
चौघेही पट्टीचे पत्तेबाज आणि तेवढेच फुकाडे- म्हणजे सिगारेटी फुंकणारे. तीन-चार तासांत होत्या नव्हत्या त्या सगळ्या सिगारेटी संपल्या.

तलफ आल्यावर साप कोंबडीला म्हणाला, ''जा ना पटकन तीन-चार पाकिटं घेऊन ये ना! मी गेलो असतो, पण मला तर पायच नाहीत.''
कोंबडी म्हणाली, ''मला दोनच पाय. मांजरबाई, तू जातेस काय?'' मांजर म्हणाली, ''मला तर चारच पाय आहेत. किती वेगाने जाणार मीही.

त्यापेक्षा या शंभर पायांच्या गोमाबाईंना जाऊ देत.'' गोम सिगारेट आणायला म्हणून गेली त्याला तास-दीड तास होता आला.
सगळ्यांना जाम तलफ आली होती. साप म्हणाला, ''पाच मिनिटांवर टपरी आहे, हिला इतका वेळ का लागला.''
कोंबडी गोमेला बघायला म्हणून बाहेर पडली आणि थक्कच झाली. बाहेरच्या खोलीत गोम बसली होती.
''तू अजून इथेच बसलीयेस?'' कोंबडीने रागाने विचारलं. '' बसलेली नाहीये नुसती. दिसत नाही का मी चपला घालतेय पायात ते!

Sign

2008-06-12T22:33:00.001-07:00

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

2008-06-12T22:14:00.000-07:00

This is what u call dedication to one's work........

(**** If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. **** )

Smile with Marathi

2008-06-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

Human Resource :) too good

2008-06-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

One day while walking down the street a highly successful
Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul
arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter
himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it
seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a
Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to
do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let
you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever
one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said
the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went
down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green
of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing
in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked
with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They
ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They
played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club
where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind
of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having
such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody
shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found
St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24
hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had
great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came
and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you
must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd
say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a
better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down
back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a
desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were
dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and
had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends
look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told... **
...
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....* **
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"*

Consequences of Aggressive Consumer Banking......................

2008-06-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

Consequences of Aggressive Consumer Banking......................

Meaning - I AM NOT HERE TO ROB THE BANK, ALL I WANT TO SAY THAT I DONT WANT ANY CREDIT CARD OR LOAN FRM YOUR BANK.

PLZ STOP CALLING ME…………………………..

Good Morning

2008-06-06T04:58:00.000-07:00

Hi..

Good Morning...

&

Have A Nice Day Ahead !!!

When you have a Passion and a Reason to do something,

you'll surely have what you want...

It may seem hard or even impossible,

but if you have a Strong Enough Reason to do Something,

You'll be able to tap in your Inner God-given Potential!

How technology changed us

2008-06-06T04:56:00.000-07:00

Chintoo

2008-06-05T05:18:00.000-07:00

why hike in petrol price?

2008-06-05T05:14:00.000-07:00

We got news cliping from Mumbai. Please go through the mail for price of
Petrol break-up.- to Know the reality of actual price of Petrol

Petrol Fever - A Real Eye Opener

Following is the article from well known Newspaper.

Find the detail break-up of the Final price of petrol available in
pumps.

This is a break up considering crude oil at 130 $ per barrel. Following
details are for per liter petrol in Rs.

* Basic Price = Rs 21.93
* Excise duty = Rs 14.35
* Education Tax = Rs 0.43
* Dealer commission = Rs 1.05
* VAT = Rs 5.5
* Crude Oil Custom duty = Rs 1.1
* Petrol Custom = Rs 1.54
* Transportation Charge = Rs 6.00
* Total price = Rs 51.90

So for a Rs 22 liter petrol at pumps we people pay Rs 28 tax extra.

Govt. is thinking to impose more price hike to curtain with the current
crude oil bubble in International oil crisis.

If Central Govt. wish, it can still reduce the price of petrol in the
current crisis situation, but it doesn't intend to do so, instead trying
to fool the people and Nation. This is the basis LEFT parties are
opposing, just generating more profits for the oil marketing companies.

Don't you think you should pass this message to create more awareness
among the people.

Quotes

2008-06-04T04:48:00.000-07:00

Quality

2008-06-04T04:36:00.000-07:00

Very very Informative mail for you .

Would you like to know if your mobile is original or not ?????

Press the following on your mobile*#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears. Then check the 7th and 8th numbers:

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7 th	8 th	9	10	11	12	13	14	15
Phone serial no.	x	x	x	x	x	x	?	?	x	x	x	x	x	x	x

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 02 or 20 this means your cell phone was assembled in Emirates which is very Bad quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 08 or 80 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 01 or 10 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 00 this means your cell phone was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 13 this means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health

PJJJJJJ

2008-06-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

How smart is your right foot???.. this is so funny

2008-06-02T23:31:00.000-07:00

How smart is your right foot???.. this is so funny

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And
you will keep
trying it
at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your
foot. But you
can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot
off the floor and
make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the
air with your
right
hand. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about
it.

Make sure you pass this on to your friends...

They won't be able to either...

Good Morning

2008-06-02T23:29:00.000-07:00

Innocence at it's best......

2008-06-01T23:43:00.001-07:00

Most Clever Creation!!

2008-06-01T23:39:00.000-07:00

This has got to be one of the most clever
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
When you rearrange the letters:
FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL

DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE

BARA THEDA
When you rearrange the letters:
ARAB DEATH

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Three top reasons for watch in CRICKET!!

2008-05-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

Mast PJ

2008-05-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

Pichle saal ki baat hai..

There was a movie released called "GAVASKAR" in Australia .. Apna Sunil Gavaskar felt very proud about it. He went personally to watch the movie and check out how his image was portrayed in the movie. Movie chaalu ho gayi ... interval tak Gavaskar ka koi
naamonishaan nahi.. then Gavaskar thought movie me asli actor interval ke baad hi aata hai . But the bad part is movie got over and no Gavaskar found. Gavaskar got wild and he decided to sue the movie producers & directors.

He asked "Gavaskar naam ki movie banayi aur mere baare me kuch bhi nahi aisa kyon kiya ??"
then he got a reply and after hearing that he got silent and came back home in India ......
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guess wht was the reply he got ???
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guess..

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"Tumne bhi to BORDER movie banayi lekin Allan Border ke baare me kuch bataya kya ??"

Funny Movie.....ENJOY

2008-05-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.happydent.in/protex/viral/index.html

Sundar Kavita

2008-05-28T05:04:00.000-07:00

WE ALL DO THIS !!!!

2008-05-27T03:11:00.001-07:00

A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat. On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit. She died on Wednesday. The autopsy concluded she died of Leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from, not using a glass. Tests showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis. Rat urine contains toxic and deadly substances It is highly recommended to thoroughly wash the upper part of soda cans before drinking out of them. The cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned. A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets (i .e.) full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident. Please forward this message to all the people you care about. (I JUST DID!)

2008-05-27T03:00:00.000-07:00

Moral

2008-05-27T01:58:00.001-07:00

A junior Software engineer, a senior Software engineer and their PM are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".

So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff, and he was also gone.

The PM calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 2.00pm"

Moral of the story is: Always allow the bosses to speak first"!!!!

Flowers

2008-05-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

Sardar Again

2008-05-23T05:35:00.001-07:00

* Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon
ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: mahilaon ko dekhne ka samay 9am-
11am

* A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya.

* At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my
hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head.
Is he crying?

* In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

* Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

* Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

* Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne
sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai,
piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

Goood Morning

2008-05-23T05:24:00.001-07:00

Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.

Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But don't forget to remember
Those that have stuck by you.

Always remember to forget
The troubles that have passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.

Software Engineer !!!

2008-05-22T05:37:00.000-07:00

There was a good old barber . One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber
and the barber replies : I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.

Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......

Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ...

...

A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOLO SOFTWARE ENGINEER KI JAY

Sardar of the Day

2008-05-22T05:34:00.000-07:00

Good site for surfing Pune

2008-05-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

Chk this link:

http://www.biocrawler.com/encyclopedia/Pune

YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW

2008-05-21T05:16:00.001-07:00

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed.
We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
With its possible adversities, Its burdens,
Its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This just leaves only one day . . . Today.
Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's - yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time Laughing

Love Story of Narayana Murthy and Sudha

2008-05-21T05:14:00.000-07:00

From Sudha's Autobiography

It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco. Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man.

Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy,bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner .. I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m. at Green Fields hotel on the Main Road,Pune.

The next day I went there at 7' o clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see?

Mr. Murty waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him...And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty's experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that Murty was trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell you something. I knew this was it. It was coming.

He said, I am 5'4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I asked Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to marry a wannabe politician,(a communist at that) who didn't have a steady job and wanted to build an orphanage...

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murty was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me.

He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day at10 a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.

At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay, was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi(though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law.

Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life. Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO.
I don't want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murty which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most
important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd., one of the world's most reputed companies. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later.

For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt to me.. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my
wedding. The amount was a little over Rs 4000. During this interim period Murty quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay. But before he joined the company he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had a decent job, now.

WE WERE MARRIED IN MURTY'S HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY 10, 1978 WITH ONLY OUR TWO FAMILIES PRESENT.I GOT MY FIRST SILK SARI. THE WEDDING EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS 800 (US $17) WITH MURTY AND I POOLING IN RS 400 EACH.

I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain freshin my mind forever. Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem.

Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

IN 1981 MURTY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into business. We did not have any business background.. Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him.

Typical of Murty , he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have . Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you have only three years!

Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer.

I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house. In 1983 Infosys got their first client , MICO, in Bangalore. Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murty left for the US on project work.

I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters.

My father presented Murty a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good.

It was like a big joint family,taking care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murty made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together ... I was involved with Infosys initially.

Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murty said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications.

He said, Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love doing.

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's request.. I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100 percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys.

I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was a big sacrificebut it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success.

I might have given up my career for my husband's sake.But that does not make me a doormat....

Sardar Again

2008-05-21T05:01:00.001-07:00

* Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy
ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

* Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

* Santa & Banta were going with their friend on one scooter & a
traffic cop tried to stop them.
Santa said: Sorry bhaji, already 3 baithe hain bilkul bhi jagah nahin
hai

* Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents

* Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open

* Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Too Good

2008-05-20T04:54:00.000-07:00

स्पेनिश नौसेना के एक युध्दपोत का कप्तान एक दिन डेक पर टहल रहा था कि तभी उसका सहायक भागता हुआ आया और चिल्लाया - सर ! मैंने अभी अभी दुश्मन का एक युध्दपोत देखा है जो हमारी तरफ आ रहा है ।

कप्तान ने शांतिपूर्वक उसकी बात सुनी, फिर उसे आदेश दिया - जाओ, मेरी लाल कमीज लेकर आओ ।

सहायक उसकी लाल रंग की कमीज ले आया जिसे कप्तान ने पहन लिया।

दोनों जलपोतों के बीच भयंकर युध्द हुआ और अंत में स्पेनिश पोत विजयी रहा। युध्द के बाद, सहायक ने कप्तान से पूछा - सर! मैं आपसे एक बात पूछना चाहता था! आपने युध्द के दौरान लाल रंग की कमीज क्यों पहनी ?

कप्तान ने गर्व भरे ढंग से बताया - ताकि यदि मुझे गोली लगे तो मेरे सैनिक मेरे शरीर से बहता हुआ खून न देख सकें और उनका हौसला न टूटे।

सहायक अपने कप्तान की बहादुरी और बुध्दिमत्ता का कायल हो गया। तभी एक दूसरा सिपाही भागता हुआ आया और बोला - सर, सर ! मैंने अभी दुश्मन के 20 युध्दपोत देखे हैं जो हमारी तरफ आ रहे हैं !

कप्तान, सहायक की ओर मुड़ा और आदेश दिया - जाओ और जाकर मेरी पीले रंग की पेन्ट लेकर आओ.....।

Good Morning

2008-05-20T04:19:00.000-07:00

IPL toons

2008-05-20T02:04:00.000-07:00

TWO OPPOSITE SUICIDES...

2008-05-20T01:49:00.000-07:00

Born Brave

2008-05-18T23:28:00.000-07:00

Love & Marriage

2008-05-18T23:15:00.001-07:00

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person.... "

*"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."*

Classic Deadlock

2008-05-18T23:14:00.001-07:00

Boss to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
so make arrangements.

Secretary makes call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to his secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

The Secret lover makes call to small boy to whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry ....this week
we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement ...........

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

Height of Cost cutting

2008-05-15T05:04:00.000-07:00

Sardarji's Mom's Letter To Canada Wala Son

2008-05-15T05:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Banta Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing

this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the

newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20

miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took

the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to

change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our

earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right

above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts,

pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first

time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too

heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off

and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the

grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is really

badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this

club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a

girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out,

but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned

for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his

father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he

died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his

father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I

had already sealed off this letter.

Good Morning

2008-05-14T22:27:00.000-07:00

Life gives Answers in Three ways,

It says YES and gives Whatever u Want,

It says NO and gives u Something Better

It says Wait and gives u the Best

"Don't just Dream. Live your Dream."

Helpfull information

2008-05-14T03:33:00.000-07:00

There is a site: www.friends2support.org

where you can search for a Particular blood group, you will get thousand of donor addresses.

Pass this message 2 all you know. It will help many. You will really help some 1 without your knowledge.

Irshad farmaiye...!!

2008-05-14T03:15:00.001-07:00

GOD ..... GOOGLE ORIENTED DEVELOPMENT

2008-05-14T00:22:00.001-07:00

ME and MY BOSS

2008-05-14T00:16:00.000-07:00

ME and MY BOSS

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,

When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's
overworked

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

Good Morning

2008-05-12T03:21:00.000-07:00

Marathi - Nibandh

2008-05-12T03:11:00.001-07:00

90/10 Principle

2008-05-12T03:03:00.000-07:00

Discover the 90/10 Principle.

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is “D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!!!
Enjoy….

Interview-Enjoy : You all must read this ..... :)))))))))))))))

2008-05-12T03:00:00.001-07:00

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication
engineering from Baban Rao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: Baban Rao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never
heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! In
12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I
prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The
baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I
had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - Baban Rao
Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd
year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking
for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some
relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then.
As you can see I have experience of different platforms!

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, and English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult.
I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for
International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important -
I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ', 'hot fixes', 'SEI-CMM',
'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines', 'Customer Satisfaction' etc.
Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt
and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2
months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But
considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I
don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and
don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before.

Dot Com revoloution

2008-05-12T02:45:00.001-07:00

Nibandh- Paus

2008-05-09T05:05:00.000-07:00

Joke - Mother knows!!! Gud one..

2008-05-08T05:15:00.001-07:00

A 3 YEAR OLD

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who
is four years older than I am. I was maybe 3 and a half years old and had
just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other
injuries.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one
of my favourite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening
news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought
Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of
tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made
her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it
was 'just the cutest thing!!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea
for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, 'Did it
ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is
the toilet??'

....Mother knows!!

WACKHY daffynitions!

2008-05-08T05:01:00.000-07:00

* Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

* Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

* Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

* Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

* Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

* Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

* Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

* Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

* Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

* Father: A banker provided by nature.

* Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

* Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

* Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

* Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

* Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

* Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

* Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

* Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

* Experience: The name men give to their mistakes..

* Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

* Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

Good one

2008-05-08T03:04:00.000-07:00

Bharat Blood Bank

2008-05-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

This website www.bharatbloodbank.com enables u to search for a particular blood group, u'll get thousand of donor addresses.

Cell Phones

2008-05-07T03:28:00.000-07:00

Good Morning

2008-05-07T03:20:00.000-07:00

Puzzle 4 U

2008-05-07T02:09:00.001-07:00

Here is a puzzle for you
Imagine you are in Africa. You have been tied hanging on a tree with a rope anchored on the ground, a candle is slowly burning the rope, and the lion is waiting for you to drop and be his lunch.

Your survival hinges on the rope staying intact, there is no one around to help you. What to do now .........

write your answer before your scroll down....

Scroll down for answer...
/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

Sing a Happy Birthday song for the lion...

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELL PHONE COULD DO!!!

2008-05-06T22:07:00.000-07:00

GREAT INFO!!
THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELL PHONE COULD DO.

There are a few things that can be done in times of emergencies. Your
mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for
survival. Checkout the things that you can do with it:

FIRST Subject: Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out
of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency,
dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the
emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed
even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday.
Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the
spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone (not land
line) from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car
door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it
near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone
from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be
hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other
"remote"for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk). Editor's
Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell
phone!"

THIRD Subject: Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#
your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50%
increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your
cell next time.

FOURTH How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on
your phone: * # 0 6 # A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This
number is unique to Your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.
When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give
them this code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes
the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get
your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell
it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people
stealing mobile phones.

And Finally....

FIFTH

Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411
information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a
telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of
a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:
(800) FREE 411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all.
Program this into your cell phone now.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on
to your family and friends.