Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Health Tips

Health - Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear
Do not drink coffee TWICE a day
Do not take pills with COOL water
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm
Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume
Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night
Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS
Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time
Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping
When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times

Forward this to those whom you CARE about

Best wishes for a Good Health.


Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT

During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our

team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company

canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very

hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers


disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The

cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the


has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of


idiots ate the developer?"

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader

Of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team

leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed


and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please

don't eat a person who is working."

Relatives IN and OUTSIDE India


In India

Outside India


A woman capable of making your life miserable.

A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free ?


A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings.

Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.


A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.

A person whom you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.


A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take a shower.

A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.


A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.

A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.


A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes during her marriage.

A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before her marriage.


A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed .

A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition.

Indian Engineer

A person with a respectable job and earning lots.

A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.


A respectable person with OK income.

A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called 'doctor's wife'.


A vigorous Punjabi festival dance.

A dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.

Software Engineer

A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue in the consulate visa line.

The same hi-tech guy, who does Ganapati Puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or whenever)'every year.

A Green Card holder bachelor

the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there.

the guy can't speak proper English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan , dreams of owning a BMW