Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Health Tips

Health - Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear
Do not drink coffee TWICE a day
Do not take pills with COOL water
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm
Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume
Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night
Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS
Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time
Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping
When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times

Forward this to those whom you CARE about

Best wishes for a Good Health.


Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT

During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our

team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company

canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very

hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers


disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The

cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the


has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of


idiots ate the developer?"

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader

Of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team

leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed


and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please

don't eat a person who is working."

Relatives IN and OUTSIDE India


In India

Outside India


A woman capable of making your life miserable.

A woman you never fight with, because where else you will find such a dedicated baby sitter for free ?


A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings.

Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.


A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.

A person whom you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.


A woman who gives you your underwear and towel when you go to take a shower.

A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.


A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.

A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.


A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes during her marriage.

A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before her marriage.


A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed .

A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition.

Indian Engineer

A person with a respectable job and earning lots.

A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.


A respectable person with OK income.

A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called 'doctor's wife'.


A vigorous Punjabi festival dance.

A dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.

Software Engineer

A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue in the consulate visa line.

The same hi-tech guy, who does Ganapati Puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or whenever)'every year.

A Green Card holder bachelor

the guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there.

the guy can't speak proper English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan , dreams of owning a BMW

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Anger and Love

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father....

With painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'

Man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions...... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, child had written 'I LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the later to have a beautiful & lovely life....

Things are to be used and people are to be loved, But the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved .......

Credit card fraud

Please find the details as follows.
On 21st September 2008, near about 1.15PM to 1.30PM, I went to Shri Seva Petrol pump. I filled around 12 liters of petrol. I have used my ICICI Debit card to make the payment. This debit card has Red colour and does not have any personal information like Name and Photo of the customer. It contains only card number.
When my turn came, there were two guys who assisted me to fill the petrol. When it was done, I took my bike aside and went to the guy who was having my Debit Card. I signed on the acknowledgement slip and handed over the slip to him. Since I was in hurry, I did not notice the card which he returned to me. This card which was given to me was similar to my card, so assuming that I got my card back, I left the place.
In the evening, I was shocked when I got an sms on my cell from ICICI bank informing me that one transaction was made of Rs.4000/- and this amount was debited from my savings account. Soon after I called the customer care and asked them to block my Debit card. By the time, it was very clear that somebody was misusing my card and was doing the transactions.
I went to ICICI Bank, SB Road Branch to know more details about this and about the customer whose card was returned to me by that petrol pump assistant. I met the guy who was belonging to that card. When I discussed with him, I got to know that the same incident has happened with him also. He was given somebody else’s card and a transaction of Rs 1500/- was made from his own Debit card.
From these incidents, it seems that someone or a group of people are deliberately replacing the debit cards and are misusing the same at the same shop. This has happened twice in last 5 days. There can be more victims which may have cheated the same way at this petrol pump.
So if you are giving your card (Debit/Credit) to any one for swiping, please confirm if you have got your own card or not.
Also please do not fill petrol at this petrol pump so that such kind of incidents will not happen forever.
Please forward this information to your friends so that they will also know the fact.


Jokes :

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha

Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem hai
DR: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"

Sardar: Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya.
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

How to identify a Software engineer?

How to identify a Software engineer?

1. He/She never bargains... No wonder things have become so costly!

2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are

sleeping like they haven't slept for years...

3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon...

4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile,

delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what

'foreign land' is called] are the ones that would be used by


5. Weekends are holy words... they are like a salvation one seeks for...

6. "Wazzzup", "Hows life?", are few obvious questions one will be

greeted with which would be immediately followed by "how's work?"

7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other

companies than the one he/she is currently in...

8. They don't send or take things... they always forward them!

9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in

the entire day...

10. They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do... When

I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes

to my mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room".

11. Mondays are always blue...

12. All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that

something would never be what they are doing right now...

Keep the change

Delhi...ultimate must read

Friday, September 5, 2008

Increase My Salary

Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside thecompany..!

Only Boy

Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says
"To the only boy Iever loved.!"
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!

Happy Ganesh Chaturti

Monday, August 25, 2008

Har IT ki kahani,,,

Bench pe Bench,
Bench pe Bench,
Log paglon ki tarah training mein raat raat bhar padhte rahe
Aur unhe mili toh sirf Bench !

Algorithm ka Analysis karte karte unki khudki life ban gayi ek unsolvable algorithm
Aur unhe mili toh sirf Bench !
Training ke baad proj milega,
phir appraisal hoga,
phir onsite jaoonga ..
Isi soch mein logon ne training clear kar di
Aur unhe bhi mili toh sirf Bench !
Bench par baithe baithe log khud ban gaye hai ek bench,
Phir bhi unhe mili toh sirf Bench !
Chaddha samjao ise....
Coding karne ke liye jo jigar chahiye hota hai ..
wo kisi bazaar mein nahi milta...
Coder use lekar paida hota hai....
Aur jab yeh Java ka code kisi Dotnet wale ko karna pad jata hai na,
Toh coder uthta nahi,
balki is duniya se ..
uth jaata hai............
Bazaar main aise code bahot milte hain,
lekin unko chalane k liye jo seena chahiye hota hai..
Wo ek coder lekar paida hota hai ..!

Jokee.. hahahah

Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha
Jailor: Kyon has rhe ho? Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hu






Sunday, August 10, 2008

Something Interesting

Kindly Calculate,

(13837) X (Your Age) X (73) = ?????

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Never listen with a predetermined notion...

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"

The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"

Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four…"

The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"

Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"

The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?"

Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"

The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.

In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."

"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."

Marathi Pjs

Anupam Kher la varshachya shevti Mulgi zhali tar tiche kai naav asel bara?? Varsha A.Kher !!!
Ekda ek maanus lagnala aalyacha tukda (ginger) gheun jaato. Ka?? Karan lagnachya patrikevar lihilela asta .. Lagnala "aala"ch paahije =))
Ekda ek manus asa announce karto ki tyacha kutra Tommy la poorna English kalta. Challenge mhanun dusra manus yeto ani Tommy la biscuit dakhvun mhanto "Tommy .. take". Tar Tommy jaaun bhintila tekto
Ek manus doodh pita pita marto...kase kay? Mhais Khali baste
Manus eka tapriwar jaato aani samosaa magto.. Samosa aalyawar to fakta aatalaa masaalaCh khato Taperiwalaa mhanto arey kyo sirf masalaa hi khayaa?? manus mhanto "arey doctor ne bahaar ka khane ke liye mana kiya hain!!!!!!!"
eka jatret eka stall madhe ek manus ordat asto , ek rupayet dudhi halva. loka paise devun aat jatat , tikde ek duhi latkavli aste . loka vichar taat kuthe ahe dudi halva samor che dudhi tumhi halva ani nigha.
manus at an interview: Question: What is Ford? manus: Gaadi!!! Question: Good,what is Oxford? manus: Bailgaadi
vaTpournimechyaa divshii vaDaachyaa zaaDaachii poojaa kelyaanantar baaykaa kaay mhaNtaat? vaDaa paav ...

Monday, June 23, 2008

Friday, June 20, 2008

Worlds most expensive saree

Silk Sari

How often have you come across a Rs. 40 lakh ($100,000)

silk saree?

Chennai Silks, a textile unit has come up with one
of its kind and it is seeking an unmistakable entry into the Guinness Book of World Records for being the most unique and expensive saree.

The exceptionally stunning saree is meticulously woven with 12 precious stones and metals to depict 11 of Raja Ravi Verma's popular paintings. Explicitly projected is

'Lady Musicians', one of the painter's very famous works that displays women belonging to diverse cultural backgrounds.

Besides, the border of the saree pictures 10 other paintings of the artist that pays tribute to 20th century artist.
The best part of the saree being that the women in the paintings are intricately hand-woven and beautified with jewels of gold, diamond, platinum, silver, ruby, emerald, yellow sapphire, sapphire, cat's eye, topaz, pearl and corals.

Already in the Limca Book of Records, this 40 lakh saree will be the first silk saree that required the use of 7,440 jacquard hooks and 66,794 cards during the weaving process. Moreover, a group of consummate workers took nearly 4,680 hours

Joke of the day

कर्वे रोडला पाणी येते, पण कोथरुड ला नाही येत. का बरे ?


























































कारण वाटेत नळ स्टॉप आहे.

Please appreciate "HER"

Tomorrow you may propose a working woman,

but you should marry with these facts firmly grounded in your mind........

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she isas
human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that
gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who
love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment
and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that
you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at
her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing
to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy,
unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like
yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows
in your entire house - Your unstinted support, Your sensitivities and most importantly - Your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

Monday, June 16, 2008


21st century bride !!

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

"My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family",

she said "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn't stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!


This is called bride from 21st


Friday, June 13, 2008

Good Morning

Good morning....

Have a nice day !!!!

Success of life will create crowd for u

Lonliness of life create empty space for u

but TOUGH TIME in life will create the trueg person in u...!!

A car that runs on air, in India soon


Management:Unofficial Mail

Management Lesson........................ The ULTIMATE


एक साप, कोंबडी, मांजर आणि शंभर पायांची गोम हे मित्र एकदा पत्ते खेळत बसले होते.
चौघेही पट्टीचे पत्तेबाज आणि तेवढेच फुकाडे- म्हणजे सिगारेटी फुंकणारे. तीन-चार तासांत होत्या नव्हत्या त्या सगळ्या सिगारेटी संपल्या.

तलफ आल्यावर साप कोंबडीला म्हणाला, ''जा ना पटकन तीन-चार पाकिटं घेऊन ये ना! मी गेलो असतो, पण मला तर पायच नाहीत.''
कोंबडी म्हणाली, ''मला दोनच पाय. मांजरबाई, तू जातेस काय?'' मांजर म्हणाली, ''मला तर चारच पाय आहेत. किती वेगाने जाणार मीही.

त्यापेक्षा या शंभर पायांच्या गोमाबाईंना जाऊ देत.'' गोम सिगारेट आणायला म्हणून गेली त्याला तास-दीड तास होता आला.
सगळ्यांना जाम तलफ आली होती. साप म्हणाला, ''पाच मिनिटांवर टपरी आहे, हिला इतका वेळ का लागला.''
कोंबडी गोमेला बघायला म्हणून बाहेर पडली आणि थक्कच झाली. बाहेरच्या खोलीत गोम बसली होती.
तू अजून इथेच बसलीयेस?'' कोंबडीने रागाने विचारलं. '' बसलेली नाहीये नुसती. दिसत नाही का मी चपला घालतेय पायात ते!