Monday, May 12, 2008

Good Morning

Marathi - Nibandh

Interview-Enjoy : You all must read this ..... :)))))))))))))))

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication
engineering from Baban Rao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.


Interviewer: Baban Rao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never
heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! In
12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I
prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The
baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I
had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - Baban Rao
Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.


Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd
year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.


Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.


Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!


Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking
for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some
relative.


Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!


Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then.
As you can see I have experience of different platforms!


Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, and English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.


Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!


Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.


Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!


Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.


Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult.
I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for
International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important -
I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ', 'hot fixes', 'SEI-CMM',
'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines', 'Customer Satisfaction' etc.
Also I can blame others for my mistakes!


Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt
and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2
months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But
considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007, I
don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and
don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?


Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before.

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