Thursday, May 8, 2008

WACKHY daffynitions!

* Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.


* Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


* Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.


* Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


* Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"


* Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


* Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


* Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.


* Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


* Father: A banker provided by nature.


* Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


* Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


* Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


* Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.


* Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


* Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


* Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


* Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


* Experience: The name men give to their mistakes..


* Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


* Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death